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Social Anxiety — When Fear of Judgement Holds You Back

Social anxiety isn’t about being shy or antisocial.
It’s about how your nervous system responds to people, attention, and perceived judgement — often long before you’ve had time to think.

Many people with social anxiety know logically that they’re safe — yet still experience:

  • Sudden anxiety around people
  • Fear of being watched, judged or embarrassed
  • Physical symptoms (blushing, shaking, nausea, sweating)
  • Overthinking conversations before, during and after
  • Avoiding social events, meetings or situations
  • A sense of freezing, masking, or “not being yourself”

This isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a learned nervous-system response — and it can change.

I work with social anxiety using a calm, practical, mind-body approach that doesn’t rely on forcing confidence or “thinking positive”.

MAIL@THEEXCELPRACTICE.COM  OR CALL  07807 540142

Book Your Session
Ask a Question

How Social Anxiety Develops

Social anxiety usually forms when the mind and nervous system learn that social situations feel unsafe.

This can happen through:

  • Early embarrassment or humiliation
  • Repeated criticism or judgement
  • Bullying or social exclusion
  • Growing up needing to “behave” or self-monitor
  • Neurodivergent processing styles
  • Long-term stress or high self-expectation

Over time, the brain starts to treat people, attention, or evaluation as a threat.

The result isn’t weakness — it’s over-protection.

Common Signs of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety can look different for everyone, but often includes:

  • Fear of speaking or being noticed
  • Anxiety in groups, meetings or social settings
  • Avoiding phone calls, conversations or events
  • Replaying interactions afterwards
  • Blushing, sweating, shaking or nausea
  • Mental blankness or overthinking
  • Feeling tense, guarded or “on edge” around people

Some people experience general social anxiety, while others struggle only in specific situations such as presentations, dating, meetings, or authority figures.

Why “Confidence Tips” Often Don’t Work

Most advice focuses on behaviour — speak louder, stand straighter, be confident.

But social anxiety isn’t a confidence problem.

It’s a state problem.

When the nervous system is in threat mode:

  • Thinking narrows
  • Self-monitoring increases
  • Fine control drops
  • Fear overrides logic

Trying to “push through” often reinforces the anxiety.

Real change happens when the underlying state shifts.

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How I Work With Social Anxiety

Rather than forcing exposure or confidence, sessions focus on:

  • Nervous-system regulation
  • Emotional safety and grounding
  • Internal dialogue and self-monitoring
  • Reducing threat perception
  • Building calm, stable social states

This work is adapted to how your mind already functions — including non-visual thinkers and people who don’t respond to visualisation.

Approaches I Use

🔹 Adapted Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy works with subconscious patterns, not willpower.

We focus on:

  • Safety and calm responses
  • Reducing automatic fear reactions
  • Emotional regulation under attention
  • Re-learning social ease

No imagery is required.


🔹 NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)

NLP helps change:

  • Internal dialogue
  • Meaning and interpretation
  • Self-focus loops
  • Automatic responses

This reduces the mental “spotlight” effect common in social anxiety.


🔹 Somatic & Mind-Body Techniques

Social anxiety lives in the body.

We work with:

  • Breath
  • Tension patterns
  • Posture and grounding
  • Arousal regulation

When the body settles, confidence often returns naturally.


🔹 Mindfulness (Non-Visual)

Mindfulness is adapted to focus on:

  • Present-moment awareness
  • Sensation and sound
  • Reducing mental looping

This helps you stay with situations instead of escaping them mentally.

What Changes Look Like

Clients often report:

  • Feeling calmer around people
  • Less self-monitoring and overthinking
  • Reduced physical anxiety symptoms
  • Greater ease in conversations
  • Improved confidence as a by-product
  • Less avoidance and more choice

Change is usually gradual and stabilising, not forced.

Social Anxiety vs Social Confidence

Social anxiety is about fear and threat response.
Social confidence is about expression and presence.

Many people find that once anxiety reduces, confidence improves automatically.

If anxiety isn’t your main issue, social confidence coaching may be more appropriate — but anxiety is always addressed first when present.

Sessions & Locations

I offer help with social anxiety in:

  • Reading, Berkshire — weekday sessions
  • Didcot, Oxfordshire — Tuesdays
  • Online — UK & worldwide via Zoom or Teams

Sessions are:

  • One-to-one
  • Calm and non-judgemental
  • Practical and personalised

Key Point

Social anxiety is not who you are.
It’s a protective pattern your nervous system learned — and it can unlearn it.

MAIL@THEEXCELPRACTICE.COM OR CALL 07807 540142

Book Your Session
Ask a Question

For online hypnotherapy for social anxiety please do ask for details on how I can help you with this using on Zoom, Skype, Teams and other on-line technology

Social Anxiety as defined by the NHS HERE